Sometimes, he thinks that someone like him doesn't deserve a family. When he was human, he had his mother, father, and sweet little Kathy. He hated his father, tolerated his mother, and adored Kathy. But the second he became a vampire, he killed them all.
Later, Darla, Drusilla, and eventually Spike become his family, if you could call if that. Filled with pain and sex and passion, it was definitely vampire like. All that ended when he was cursed.
That brought him to L.A. For a time, he felt like he truly belonged here with Cordy, Wes, Gunn, Fred, and Lorne. They made him believe that he could be happy, that he wasn't the monster that he'd spent so many years being anymore, that they could bring down all the evil in the world, that he would get the girl at the end, that one day he could be human again.
Sometimes, he wishes he can go back to thinking that and he becomes envious of his past self. When Connor was stolen by Wesley, when Cordelia died and Connor betrayed him, his illusion shattered.
He had spent the entire time at Wolfram and Hart distancing himself from everyone so that the blows would sting a little less when they came. He knew that the big fight, bigger than anything he'd ever faced before, was coming. He knew that not everyone would survive bringing down their assigned people, and if they did, they certainly wouldn't survive this battle. Two vampires, Illyria, and an injured man against hundreds. It's almost laughable.
Time to get to work.
He knows he is going to go down fighting. It seems fitting, somehow.
fandom/pairing/subject: dollhouse, adelle/dominic
spoilers: for the whole series, just to be safe. very vague, though?
notes: i adore adelle, and so this may be a little tipped to her pov. i did my best to twist my music taste to fit the couple, and if you hate the songs I AM SO SORRY, so there is some art to hopefully make it a little better. i hope you like it! (also, i am confused as to how to spell adelle's name, so i went with the prettier version.)
in spite of you // even out of view // still I love all of you // i do, yeah // you, you want nothing to do with me
we might kiss when we are alone // when nobody's watching // we might take it home // we might make out when nobody's there // it's not that we're scared //it's just that it's delicate
and i'm high enough from all the waiting // to ride a wave on your inhaling // ‘cause i love you no? // can't help but love, you know...
can you see me // floating above your head // as you lay in bed // thinking about everything //that you did not do // 'cause saying I love you // has nothing to do with meaning it
but sometimes // i still think of you // and i just wanted to // just wanted you to know // my old friend... // i swear i never meant for this // i never meant... // don't look at me that way // it was an honest mistake
.zip can be found here!